"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - II Corinthians 12:9-10
This won't be a long post as I really should be studying for finals, but I wanted to give you a quick update/ask for your prayers. Tomorrow I'll be taking two nursing finals (one worth 40% of my grade), and then I'll be on vacation for 2 1/2 weeks! I am so looking forward to the time off, but for the next 12 hours (ok minus a couple hours for sleeping:o) I desperately need to study. I'm reaching the point where it seems each thing I learn pushes something I learned earlier out of my brain. I'm also coming to the point where I know there is more to study but would prefer to just take the tests right now and get them over with. However, since I don't foresee my instructor sending out an invite to come to campus at 9:30pm to take the final:o), I need to get back to the books. I'm in the home stretch, and at this time tomorrow I'll be done!!! And with that little pep talk out of the way, coffee pot here I come...
A friend of mine asked me how God's been working in my life recently, and last night I finally replied to the e-mail. I won't put my actual response up, as after I read it again at a time other that the middle of the night when I wrote it, it actually made very little sense. Sidenote: I really need to learn that e-mailing people at midnight before I go to bed is generally a bad idea.:o) Anyway...the gist of what I said revolved around God's faithful reminders in my life that loving Him and loving those around me should be a central priority in my life. I saw firsthand my own sinfulness and selfish nature last week when I worked two twelve hour shifts, and God opened my eyes to thoughts and heart attitudes which were far from glorifying Him. By His grace (and only by His grace) I didn't verbalize any of what I was thinking to those around me, but my heart was sinful. Unfortunately, my failure to be continually in prayer during those shifts was a major factor in my failings, and my prideful arrogance which motivated me to believe I could get through those days by my own strength was my downfall. However, our great and gracious God allowed me to fail miserably and have a couple of really terrible days, and as a result He convicted me and showed me that in those shifts I loved myself more than I loved my patients, co-workers, and most importantly, more than I loved my Savior. This lesson is one which I often think, "I should have learned that by now!" And then I remember. I am a sinner, saved by grace. Until I die I will never fully learn lessons or achieve perfection in any area of my life, much as I may want to. So all of that leads me to today. Rick Holland preached the message this morning, and when I walked in I looked at the bulletin to see the title of his message. Can you guess what passage he was preaching on? Yes. Matthew 22:34-40. Verses 37 through 40 say:
"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
Hmmmm...so that means I need to love those people in my life who love me, as much as I love myself. I suppose that's doable. But does it mean I need to love the doctor who swore at me and the nurse who pointed out my errors? Yes. Especially them. What an incredible challenge. Can I do it on my own? Absolutely not. Can I do it by God's grace and through His strength and power? Absolutely. I am without excuse. So there you have it. The God of the universe loves me enough to let me fail miserably so that I may be reminded of my inadequacies and sin, and of His perfection and power. What a great God we serve.
If you're interested, I can highly recommend this morning's message. It's not up quite yet, but I believe they'll post it here in the next couple of days. I start my last week of class for the summer quarter tomorrow, and then on to finals next week and two weeks of vacation!
Kate and I went to Santa Monica this weekend to celebrate her 19th birthday. She wanted funnel cake.:o)
This morning my alarm went off as usual at 4:30 am. I squinted my eyes while looking (ok scowling) at the clock. Then I remembered. I'd stayed up late last night to finish up a paper that was due today. Then of course the calculations started. Ok, if I eat breakfast in the car, fly through the shower, shift my devotions to this evening... Yep. I'll reset my alarm for 5:00 am. I don't actually think that the extra half hour was particularly helpful, but at 5:08 am (about the time I was actually making movements toward prying myself from my bed) I received several text messages. It's amazing how quickly good news spreads.:o) My instructor was sick (no that's not good news!) and my clinical was canceled for the day. Ah, I thought. Amazing!!! Now back to sleep. However, I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and glanced outside. The sun was just beginning to show its first rays, and there were clouds! I know that might not sound too impressive for some of you, but around here in July that's rare. And clouds meant an incredible sunrise. (The lack of clouds make those rare also...) I glanced over at my bed and back outside, and it was decided. I made myself a cup of coffee, grabbed my Bible and headed outside to the front yard. And may I just say, it was totally worth it!
These pictures do not begin to capture how beautiful it was, but I kind of like that. It reminds me that our Creator has fashioned our eye in such a way that it is far superior to any man-made devices.
The remainder of the day included a nap:o), cleaning up my room and then doing some much needed vacuuming and dusting, cleaning my bathroom, sending out some overdue e-mails, paying the additional tuition due after the recent fee increase, painting my nails, mailing off a rebate, finishing an assignment due at midnight for my online class (before 11:59 pm:o), and various other odds and ends which seem to pile up in the midst of the quarter. I have said it before and I'll likely say it again, few things are as productive or relaxing as unexpected days off, and our all-knowing God knew just how much I needed this one! Now, off to the kitchen to make some yummy chocolate chip cookies to share.:o)
...for bronchitis! As you can see I am back to blogging. By God's grace, after 10 days of a powerful antibiotic, I am also back to breathing, sleeping through the night, standing for longer than five minutes without needing a two hour nap, and a myriad of other seemingly simple activities. During this latest illness I was made aware of many blessings which God showered on me. I can't remember all of them now, but I wanted to share a few that I can recall with you.
*It created a thankful heart. I am never so thankful for my usual good health (that I too often take for granted) as I am when I'm sick.
*It reminded me of how many wonderful people the Lord has placed in my life who encourage and support me. From taking me to the doctor, to midnight check-ups, to uplifting e-cards, friends and family met so many of my needs.
*It provided another reason to be thankful for my current living arrangement. I distinctly remember being sick in the dorms my first year in college, and how miserable it was to go through it on my own. My aunt and uncle were amazing! My aunt was literally in and out of my room the whole first night, and she even stripped my soaking wet sheets off the bed after my fever spiked to 104.5. If that isn't love...:o)
This was the make-shift sick bay they set up in my room. Let me just say, it was wonderful!
*My nursing instructor allowed me to miss a day of clinical. Not my first choice, but definitely necessary at that point.
*This is a bit of a random one, but I had ordered a few "fun" books a little while before I got sick. I had had some recommendations, and decided to check them out despite my limited time for reading. They were a little later than expected, but that made their arrival precisely during the time I was laying in bed. Time and books...how rarely those two things coincide!:o)
*I had wise family members who suggested I visit the doctor. Those of you who know me know how bad I can be about doing that, but I am quite certain the bronchitis would have drug out much longer without the prompt treatment.
*The two midterms I took right as I was starting to feel a little better went really well. (My uncle suggested that it was because I was taking "performance enhancing drugs"...;o)
*At the advice of those wiser than me I took some time off of work while recovering, and that allowed me to spend time with my aunt, uncle, and another family member who was visiting. We even took a trip to the Reagan Library, which is always a treat.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I cannot possibly remember (and likely was not even aware of) everything. I mostly wanted to share my experiences of God's faithfulness and sustaining grace in the midst of a few tough days. My prayer while I was sick was that above all God would be glorified, and He certainly provided for all of my needs and more. I am excited to be healing and feeling a million times better, but am so very thankful for all that the Lord taught me through it. If nothing else it reminded me of how thankful I am that this world is not my permanent home, and how eagerly I am anticipating an illness free eternity with my Savior.
2. The smell of fresh cut grass. 3. Doing my devotions outside early in the morning. 4. Seeing sunshine through rain.
5. Having air conditioning in my car. (I think having a car for several years without air conditioning when I was growing up has helped me not take this for granted.:o) 6. Cold seedless watermelon on a hot summer day. 7. Having mornings when I don't have anywhere to be and can sleep in and then linger over a cup of coffee and God's Word.
8. Getting mail from friends. 9. Looking back through my prayer journal and praising God for His faithfulness as I see how He has answered prayers. 10. Spending time with my sisters and brother-in-law.
